Disability Scoop: What if you decide that you’re not that into somebody or things are just not going well, how do you break up with them?
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Disability Scoop: If you find a partner, what are the keys to maintaining a relationship with them? You don’t have to talk everyday or all the time, but sharing what you’re thinking and what’s going on is important.
Finding things you both like to do and enjoy helps.
Mary Greenfield: I work primarily with adults with learning and developmental disabilities.
They could have multiple disabilities, but their primary diagnosis would almost certainly be an intellectual disability, IQ 70 or below. Because when you get out and meet people you begin to have a greater chance of meeting people you’ll want to get to know better, whether you’re gay or straight.
If they go over and start talking, they may not be the greatest at conversation, but they stay there and want to continue being near each other. Then if they say, “can I get your telephone number” or, “I’d like to meet.” And they say, “yeah I’d like to do that.” Then you know they like you. Or make sure that you actually do some talking if you happen to be a really quiet person. Disability Scoop: When you look for someone to date, should you focus on people who have a disability like you or should you approach anybody who you might have common interests with? Disability Scoop: How do you know if it’s okay to kiss someone who you’re dating?
Disability Scoop: What are appropriate things to say to let someone know that you’re interested in them? Disability Scoop: Are there any topics that you should remember to stay away from? Mary Greenfield: You want somebody who’s comfortable with your disability. And how do you know if it’s okay to become more intimate and perhaps even have sex?Disability Scoop: What kinds of safety rules should people keep in mind if they look for a partner on the Internet?And what should you remember if you meet someone in person who you found on the Internet?I will see people with autism who have a much higher IQ but have some other issues they’re dealing with. Disability Scoop: What is the most common relationship question that you get? Disability Scoop: What do you say to people who are looking for a partner but don’t know how to find one? I also talk a lot about where are good places to meet people.There are places where it can be kind of dangerous.I think it’s important that their child has information about sexuality so they can protect themselves. And if it’s moving toward a more sexual relationship, talk to them, really share values.