Much of it makes sense – "Don't answer texts or anything else after midnight"; "Don't get wasted on dates"; "Don't relocate because of a guy" – while many chapters, such as "Don't talk too much in the first few weeks", might make the modern woman recoil.
Advocates also elucidate that a woman making herself easily available to men may increase her chances of being unconsciously or unscrupulously taken advantage of or abused.
By applying a deliberate approach to relationships, Rules champions suggest, a woman has the time and space to discover and reflect upon the character and actions of a man she is dating.
though there is no body of evidence to support this.
Another criticism is that because The Rules advise rarely returning phone calls and other such hard-to-get dating methods, some men may have trouble telling the difference between a woman who is genuinely not interested (or not interested anymore) and one who is genuinely interested, thus leading to misunderstandings and stalkers; not only for women using The Rules, but any man who believes all women are playing similar games even when they are not.
But the dictates are famous: never approach a man, let him come to you; never suggest a date; don't be the one to initiate or perpetuate conversation or contact; and never, ever agree to a date that is less than 24 hours away."It's more complicated and confusing now," says Fein, "and women need a new book to navigate the unchartered dating territory."That territory includes texting, email, instant messaging, online dating, Facebook and Twitter.
Before these, there was just the telephone, which you invariably watched until it rang. Well, I did, but I already told you I wasn't a Rules girl.
Fein and Schneider have even enlisted the help of their teenage daughters, to add their own take on romance in an over-connected era."These days, it doesn't matter whether a guy calls, texts or emails to ask you out," goes one of their hymeneal homilies, "as long as he asks you right." "Technology is great," continues Schneider. But it's the overuse of technology that is the problem. They're addicted to answering guys back in nanoseconds and they're not getting dates.
They're getting more texts and Facebook messages and no dates.""They're writing on guys' walls, friending their cousins and scaring them away," adds Fein.
I'm regularly grateful to have been one of the last generations of teenagers who didn't have to worry about social media when it came to college crushes, but even I remember days spent staring at a mobile phone that refused to beep.