Feelings are the key to compatibility, in my opinion. Yes, I selected these potential dates and knew their age, and also that they had not ever had children.I look forward to having another opportunity to learn about myself “in relationship” at some point. But I believe by having my priorities clear and articulated I can do a better job of finding and sorting through the process of finding that NEXT RELATIONSHIP. UPDATE: Responding to a comment on another site about this post, I’d like to share a few more observations. Here are several points where I think we need more discussion. My post shows some of my learnings as a result of these mistakes.And I think our culture’s focus on youth is way off base.
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Most of that dating was fairly casual, but I have been in a couple relationships—the most recent and most serious of those relationships having lasted just under two years. Or at least I realize now looking back on it just how easy it was.
You can live your life, go out on dates, and pretty much do whatever you want within the confines of the law for 26 days out of the month.
[Feb 2016 Update: Dating a Divorced Dad – Version 2.0 Updated] Let’s Hook Up, Wait. We’ve both got some history under our belt, kids, and some requirements for what’s OK and what we simply won’t ever do again.
(Red Flags, we like to call them.) As we navigate “dating” again, we quickly realise the rules are very different.
It’s pretty telling for both men and women when their profile says they are 50 and they want to date partners who are 30 – 40. I’m pretty clear about wanting a woman who’s experienced a lot of the world. This is one I try to cover in the post in several different ways. (I can only speak from my perspective, not your’s, or her’s.) 3.
And in that model they’ve probably had kids, and are generally within 5 years of my age, on either side. Who pays, who is the predator, and who’s demanding sex?
It can blur your vision when trying to figure out if you want to hang with this person for the long run. I’m Looking for 100% Pure Connection Half my life is behind me. I could see myself eyeing their bodies and trying to imagine the sex, but I stopped myself, pretty quickly, even with the fantasizing. Today, I’m even getting pretty stingy with first dates. I want my next relationship to start out with the potential going the long distance. At our age kids are either a choice you made or one you didn’t. Brutally Honest If it’s not a fit on the first date I’m going to try to let you know as gently and as quickly that it wasn’t a fit. And, in fact, feelings can be scary for both men and women.
And nothing against the non-parents in the group, but I’m so wrapped up with my kids, that if you don’t have that same passion and joy, we’re probably going to have to look for things to have engaging conversations about. I think that initial attraction is something that we can’t really control or completely predict, but I also don’t think we can do without it. But as we begin navigating our time together we’ve got to be able to talk about whatever we’re feeling.
AND ANOTHER UPDATE: I didn’t “find myself on a date” I realised during the date, with an attractive woman who was within my desired age range who happened to be younger than me and not a mom.
It was my realization that we had nothing in common (yes we seemed to have a lot of spark on txt messages and via email) once we were sitting at a table together.
My one girlfriend since divorce was a couple years older. I agree with many of the things you say are wrong between the relationships between men and women.