But just as a head’s up, I’m condensing my thoughts on all 7 episodes into one post here, and I’m not going to spend my time doing a recap on every episode, so bear with me if it’s a little jumbled.
No one in the entire series played Dominion or Settlers of Catan even once, so I can’t say it’s a completely accurate portrayal of the life of the typical poly family. I know that poly communities do struggle with this in reality, but the lack of people of color is not nearly as absolute in real life poly world as it is on the show.
But all joking (mostly) aside, I present a list of my likes and dislikes about the show, in no particular order. The entire cast is white, able-bodied, cisgendered, thin and conventionally attractive. ) but no lesbians or gay/bi men, and everyone adheres pretty closely to gender norms as far as their appearances are concerned.
Polyamory = “many loves,” not “many loves who necessarily must be permitted to hook up with each other.” Enact whatever rules work for your family, but don’t play the “my way of doing poly is the best” game. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I think the fact that the sex in the show is almost exclusively threesomes and foursomes and moresomes–and those who are seen having one-on-one sex are cast members who also frequently are shown participating in group sex–seems to fuel the misconception that this is what all poly folks are doing. But I would say that it’s equally common, if not more common, to be in relationships of the V (or N or W or some kind of zig-zagging line) variety, in which people have multiple partners but the sex still happens only between two individuals at a time.
I know Showtime is trying to sensationalize the group sex here, but it would have been nice for the sake of balance if the show had included a poly relationship that didn’t include threesomes or foursomes, since that’s the reality for a lot of us. There’s a lot of attention given to sex in general.
I just know that people in general tend to hyper-focus on the sex lives of poly people rather than considering our relationships, and the show didn’t do much to discourage that kind of thinking.
Things I liked: The relationships were all serious, long term, and committed between more than two partners.
It’s not exactly shocking that the show would be cast this way, especially with regard to the attractiveness of the participants.
But I still reserve the right to complain about it.
Recently, I finally got around to watching all 7 episodes of season 1 of Polyamory: Married and Dating, Showtime’s polyamory reality show.
Given that this show is (potentially) pretty huge with regard to public perception and awareness of poly relationships, I think it’s worth a blog post.
To offer a bit of a summary before I move on to some of the finer points, though, overall I have to say this show is a good thing.