“However, mouth-to-mouth kissing is actually one of the beginning stages of sexual intimacy and is an easy way to fast-forward to more explicit sexual contact.
Young, single people should avoid mouth-to-mouth kissing at all costs except maybe just prior to marriage (even then they must be careful to avoid lustful behavior).” Explaining how they first kissed, Kate said, “I had told Luke what a kiss meant to me as we started to grow closer.
It all starts with physical contact—touching, hugging and kissing. “One flesh” means to have sexual intercourse (1 Corinthians ) and, according to God’s instructions, this is to take place after a man and woman have been joined together in marriage. It does clearly say that we aren’t to have sex prior to marriage (1 Corinthians , New Revised Standard Version).
Having sex prior to marriage is immoral and, according to God’s Word, we are supposed to “flee sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians ). So we’re supposed to run away from premarital sex and things that could entice us to be immoral. Because abstinence has been described in such negative terms, some educators are now choosing to use the word postponement to describe the process of delaying sex until marriage. Human history shows that these “touchy” activities often lead to lustful desire and sex. Some have asked, “Just how far can a Christian go without sinning?
For those dating, it can be exhilarating—actual, real-live, skin-to-skin contact with someone of the opposite sex.
And while it isn’t sexual union, it can definitely be sexy.
“We liked to sit close to each other, but it was not until a few months before we were engaged that we sat together with his arm around me.
At first, we only did this in my [Kate’s] parents’ home when they were near.
He honored that understanding and never took advantage of any vulnerable moment.
I respected him deeply for that and still do, even as I sometimes wanted him to kiss me. I want to be your husband.’” Continuing, she recalled, “I had asked my mother when I was young if it was all right to kiss before you were married.
A little later we also sat like this when we were alone as well—often in the context of a conversation that was on a deep emotional level, and especially after we were engaged and began talking through more personal things …
We didn’t ‘bear hug’ until a month before we were engaged, and we were careful with that.” Kissing, according to our panel, is definitely more intimate than hand-holding or hugs and should be avoided prior to engagement.
(We started dating a year or more after we had known each other as friends with the understanding that we were potentially interested in marriage and wanted to spend time together to find out.) Luke asked me if he could hold my hand initially.