Given this growing ascendancy, one might surmise that men have started to feel emasculated, put off by financially independent, strong women who make their own way because of the fear they're losing value as men.Some people opine that men are less attracted to a woman who is on an equal or higher level when it comes to matters of the pocketbook or education, and that a successful woman should dumb herself down to get a man.
What men want most, what they ask me for when I find them matches, is a feminine, nurturing, kind, caring, easy-going woman. They don’t care how many degrees you have, how much money you make or if you can change your own tire.
I often stump my coaching clients with the following question.
I am bringing them up to highlight that our culture has a huge misconception of what is actually desirable.
Before certain members of the audience accuse me of being a “misogynist” or “degrading to women”… I am not advocating some old-fashioned viewpoint that women should be nice, quiet, agreeable creatures who exist solely to please their husband.
To unpack this issue a bit more, I decided to ask... As you say, women are more successful than ever, receiving higher levels of education, and the disparity between men and women in positions of power shrinks every year.
But are men really intimidated by strong, smart and successful women?
“What is the number one thing that will make a man want to see you again?
” The answer: “It’s the way you make him feel.” Men are simple and straightforward. Inside every female top-notch attorney, investment banker and CEO is a soft gooey center – you’re a woman after all. Thank him for choosing such an excellent restaurant and for planning a wonderful evening.
The men ranked a woman who outscored them as a more desirable partner, with the study stating that “men formed favourable impressions and showed greater interest in women who displayed more (versus less) intelligence than themselves.” However, the second part of the study – when men were asked if they would date such a woman in real life – showed that the men got cold feet.
“[Men faced in this real life scenario] distanced themselves more from her, tended to rate her as less attractive, and showed less desire to exchange contact information or plan a date with her”.
That's according to researchers who carried out several studies into what men find desirable in women.