"My rule of thumb is to meet in person within two weeks of making online contact." Might as well find out as soon as you can if the chemistry is virtual—or real.Of course, when you do meet, take basic safety precautions.Contemplating the dating scene, many divorced women feel not just garden-variety nerves, but "actual terror," says Dr. Just remember that your fears are normal—after all, you are dealing with or have dealt with a major betrayal and upheaval—and that you don't have to jump all the way in. Tell a few trusted friends that you're interested in meeting people. "Sit down and craft a statement of what, exactly, you're after. If you feel the same way, she offers this advice: "I suggest you try to reframe it as an adventure, or as an education," she says.
Instead, "it's usually clear when you're not ready," says Susan Pease Gadoua, a therapist and author of .
That is, "when the very idea turns you off." But you can decide that you're ready to at least try.
It also is really rad to write about my first job or a lesson I learned in heartbreak and have you guys comment on it.
It’s a hard thing to write candidly because putting it out there leaves room for others to scrutinize and critique.
That said, don't let a fear of your children being upset or disapproving stop you from getting out there if you feel ready to.
Says Gadoua, "too many women hide behind their kids as an excuse not to date." Be upfront and respectful, but don't apologize for wanting to date.
Once you "meet" someone online, it's easy, says Dr.
Kirschner, to build up a fantasy of what he is like based on his profile and the emails you exchange.
Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.