“IF you’re going to look for a husband, go to America or Europe.” Those words were from a well-travelled Asian who I met at a speed-dating event one night.Upon hearing them, I felt like this bleak cynicism about the Australian dating scene pierced open a sleeping concern.“Some people respond to this by sticking with their own communities which result in the Asian corners in clubs or group stereotypes,” Min says.
He thinks this fosters sexual racism from others and from within.
“There have been many times in my life where I’d consider chatting with a guy only to stop myself because I thought he might not be into Asians,” he explains.
When I ask about his other experiences, he tells me that about half of the people he’s slept with say things such as “I’m not usually into Asian people”.
Even though Peter doesn’t feel like he’s a stereotype, he resents these comments because he’s still a part of the culture.
However, Min highlights that “the problem with stereotypes is not that they’re not true. I feel like this pearl of wisdom held a lot of validity and truth behind it.
What were the incomplete perceptions of gay Asians that were floating around, and how did other gay guys negotiate their world?
“Am I fetishising the Greek race if I like their men because of their physical features, their culture and food? “Does it make my current relationship any less valid given [my boyfriend] Simon is Greek/Italian?
” He adds that just because you desire a certain race, doesn’t mean the feelings you have for a person aren’t real.
“A lot of Americans specifically want to date Asians,” he says.