I don’t think that’s the way it should be Bunch of white guys eating the white part of the cookie? [M] Okay Shuffle’s Nan has supple cans but her face resembles Russell Brand That’s fucking disgusting, you couldn’t pay me to stuff her clam [C] Don’t be in such a rush now, Dan I mean on the other hand A nice guy like me could stomach Shuffle’s nan Shit for a couple grand I’ll fuck the bitch dressed like I’m fucking Uncle Sam [M] America! You’ll hear the rockets red glare when they cocking and spray It’s a revolution so when it’s party time, I’ma throw T off the Dock Of The Bay I’m like Daniel Boone when those cannons boom I’m like Davy Crockett when I wave these rockets I’m like George Washington when I…
You’re far too heavy That’s why I said it [S] Both of them are trying to grab on to their youthful cheer Dan uses slang he doesn’t know hasn’t been used for years Walks up like “What’s up daddio, what’s the scoop in here? [S] Fucking nose like a Toblerone [M] You need a reality check if you’re planning again to go in exposing mode I mean if every single fucking week your own kid’s at home exposed to you Stoned on ya homie’s show or posing drunk before a battle trying to pose like it’s totally dope You need to question as a parent if you’ve shown him the ropes, you know? Now Dizaster, this isn’t laminated And it’s our only copy [M] So if you can oblige, sir Now Organik Fuck it, Lush If you can sign here, we can have a night of mirth [M] And some fireworks [S] Sorted, BOLA [M] The war is over Woo!
‘Cause your role model levels, lower than po RICH’s vocal tone This is the guy they call "The Career Ender" More like the fucking tattletale who’ll say anything to get them to listen [M] Caustic brings up your alleged convictions And then he’ll sketch a description so that a sentence is given [S] But it’s not detention or prison, it’s dealt in a written And even two posh guys from Reading in Britain can tell that it’s snitchin’ [M] It’s as if all he’s doing is embellishing wisdom But he brought up the way Jeffy was living So attention was driven from his own tensions with women [S] You ignore your own problems by taking your enemies shit and exposing them in an instance [M] But he’s developed addiction [S] Worse than Dirtbag’s Dad with his meth in the kitchen [M] You ever think they way you act with leave effects on your infant? [Round 3: Dirtbag Dan and Caustic] [C] These fucking 90-pound pussies talking real greezy You better be ready to turn up You do fucking three minutes about me and Jeff and then you start bringing his girl up Yo, if you bring up my fucking son I’ma punch you in your nuts Do you follow soccer, by the way?
She started backing away then gave me a double thumbs up and started randomly waving [Shuffle-T] Cali’s amazing Especially when you’re as awesome as this Yesterday went to talk to a chick, awkward as shit Four minutes in, boring the bitch But let’s just say, the oral was sick By which I mean she was orally sick Caustic ya prick You look like you’ve been drawing your beard on with a marker tip Your facial hair is worse than Marlo’s is You look like John Turturro in Barton Fink if he went apple bobbing in a barber’s sink [M] Hey Dan, great performance against Charlie Clips Fucking idiot!
It was the total opposite The only bit I liked from that chokathon was this Seven minutes 17 seconds, go and watch the clip You go to bop his fist but he don’t respond with his So you just hang for a second and drop pathetically like Wile E.
Coyote floating off the cliff [S]And that rejection probably sent him into seething pain Cause being self-obsessed is in his DNA And guess what America?
I’m not gonna rhyme that with Aaliyah’s plane Why does everybody keep rhyming shit with Aaliyah’s plane? You’d have a terrible time [S] You need to stop depending on stereotypes you fat, gun-toting American guy [M] And after recycling his leftovers from Deffinition They’re gonna call us homosexual, there’s a given So we thought we can make this more interesting And came up with a clever system Every time they say that we are gay and don’t have sex with women We’ll add another bar to our third round about Dan’s dad’s meth addition You’re both called Dan Thanks for the name flip opportunities [S] It’s Dan and Dan And even the "and" in Dan and Dan is an anagram of Dan So really it’s Dan and an anagram of Dan so really it's a Dan and nad of Dan AKA Dan, Dan, Dan [M] Dun dun dun! I can imagine when the trailer dropped and he watched the whole thing he called up Dirt like, “Oh man, I kind of thought you were joking.” [M] Mate, you didn’t think this through a damn bit Dan’s shit, trust me you can’t lift this human baggage And you know the kind of shit we pull Just silly kookie antics Fuckin’ immature dramatics This battle will destroy the image you’ve established [S] Let’s take your interview with Rap Grid You just battled Aye Verb, you said you wanted Big T Shit you even hinted moves to Patrick You’re a serious dude and that’s it [M] But I guess in a room with Dan it’s simple who the man is [S] So now you’re battling us [M] Two nincompoops with wack kicks who sniff the boot and rap sick [S] Just some kids who grew up acting and switched to do some rapping [M] We’re so incredibly overrated there’s no sense in us going places And all that’s left we’re going to say is [Both] Caustic this is who you’re battling! I don’t think we’re gonna do that [DD] What the fuck, man? Fuckin’ Doctor Who [C] Doctor Who like Chinese dude on sauce is Doctor Who [DD] No, Doctor Who, it’s a TV show on the BBC, dude with the Tardis [C] There’s a BBB show about a Chinese dude who’s retarded? [S] Fuck the monarchy [M] Fuck tea [S] Fuck, you know..weather [M] Having a Prime Minister is gay [S] And our accents a joke [M] Daniel we know [S] We just covered 99 percent of the angles you wrote Cause when you’re against international opponents you’re never direct with your lines [M] Instead you rely on every cliché that exemplifies the well-known nation from where they reside If we were from The Federated States of Micronesia, the fuck would you say, Dan?[S] Dan Dan Dan This Daniel here is so excited about this He’s the only person here who has been calling this match great When he got it confirmed he lifted up Caustic like Pat Stay [M] His wife cooked him a big old breakfast this morning with ham steaks And all four of our faces drawn in the pancakes [S] The caption underneath in powdered sugar read “Hope you all have a grand day” [M] In preparation for today, this dude created a mood playlist of tunes and named it “The Shufflo Vibes” It’s literally “Happy” by Pharrell Williams duplicated a hundred times But let’s be real, we’re grateful to be on the West Coast You’ve got to laugh, most of the battles here today are proper hard These people here have paid and they want some bars And somehow us ridiculous comic farts have got the part At an event in which Diz, Verb and Hoffa star? [M] Yo, Lush, listen Thanks a million, but you’re a bad magician, but this is not our card [S] Surely this is a purely big mistake I bet when you got the flights paid for we knew something was up, dude Surely now no one with any money will trust you I can imagine him and Lush sitting just buzzing on mushrooms As soon as they hit confirm payment they went, “The fuck did we just do? You’re battling with Dirtbag Dan I think you’ve hit your head, you know? That’s a bigger risk than wearing those Did you not see the flyer? I know they call you "The Career Ender", I just didn’t think they meant your own [S] Caustic is so pissed What the fuck are you doing here, Mr. [Round 1: Dirtbag Dan and Caustic] [DD] Y’all ready? Go ahead, you fuckin’ go Already fuckin’ this shit up, go ahead [C] Yo, you wanna know what rhymes with "Marlo and Shuffle-T"? [DD] No Caustic [C] If there was, I would totally watch it [DD] Look that’s way off topic, stay by us No I said we’re Californian, I need you to stay bias Plus, we’ve got these big beautiful beards and they’ve got facial hair like fuckin’ gay pirates Hey, these faggots think that they invented multis You come from the wrong scene [C] These fuckin’ bizarre dweebs have been fuckin’ with our steez [DD] It’s nothing for one of us to…"None of y’all can fuck with me" Before I murdered Verb I was a certified vet But I’m white and I’m funny so I don’t get any respect I say fuck that shit I’m tried way less than Verb did in the end They only book my ass to ruin the integrity of the event The second he stepped on that stage, he was already dead I saw the bitch in his eyes, that’s how I knew I had got in his head And Illmac about to stomp his ass with the pen And if Verb got a problem with what I said, tell him to drink some fuckin’ water before you end up in fuckin’ hospital again Bitch [DD] Hey, if you’re gonna get on your Verb shit, I’ma get on my bird shit Cause y’all both white, like bird shit I’ll get the drop on ‘em like bird shit You fuck around with me you’ll end up all over the news like bird shit [C] Yo you keep droppin’ all this bird shit You’re gonna get the fuckin’ bird flu like Verb did [DD] Fuck that shit I came to take your head like a trophy, T How it’s supposed to be Watch your British bitch get fucked on cam like Sophie Dee I watch porno too, right after my wife goes to sleep [C] You know you fucked up when you accepted those flights? You’ll learn lessons in life if you get through the night [C] Shit, you fuck around with me you’ll get Jefferson Price’d [DD] You know what happened to Jefferson Price? Looks [DD] Which one of these fuckers are you talking to? hundreds of long schemes [C] But the trouble with that Shuffle is what do the bars mean?And if they move, they have to go back to re-register within three days.