Kate’s response was to slap her and call her a liar.Kate took her daughter to Sally’s great-grandparents, who terrorized the child in response to her allegations.The court record reveals Sally was so broken by the years of abuse that she resorted to cutting herself and attempted suicide.
The mother of a young daughter, Orenstein sounds the alarm in this book about the ways in which society, schools and parents perpetuate harmful views about gender roles and about sex as something to be feared and prevented.
She calls attention to “the incessant drumbeat of self-objectification: the pressure on young women to reduce their worth to their bodies and to see those bodies as a collection of parts that exist for others’ pleasure; to continuously monitor their appearance; to perform rather than to feel sensuality.” If, as she contends, girls today see objectification as a “personal choice, something that can be taken on intentionally as an expression rather than an imposition of sexuality,” they may also end up feeling detached from their own sexual experiences and be unprepared to resist situations that escalate to assault or rape.
Audrey Bilger is a professor of literature and faculty director of the Center for Writing and Public Discourse at Claremont Mc Kenna College.
She is co-editor, with Michele Kort, of “Here Come the Brides!
She derides chastity vows and abstinence education, citing studies that show the uselessness and even dangers of these approaches. S., “two thirds of sexually experienced teenagers say they wish they had waited longer to have intercourse for the first time.” In a chapter on girls who have sex with girls and those who identify as non-normative in terms of gender identity and/or sexual orientation, Orenstein says she found that “[g]irls in relationships with other girls spoke very differently about sex from those who were involved with boys.” Although the book acknowledges the challenges of coming out and of finding a supportive community, she quotes a bisexual girl who told her that “she enjoyed the reciprocity she found — and had found — in same-sex encounters.” “It’s so different,” said the girl, “It’s like my turn, her turn, my turn, her turn.” “Girls & Sex” should serve as a wake-up call to those who want to reframe the conversation around sex to ensure that young women and men can avoid negative sexual experiences and find “caring, reciprocal, egalitarian relationships.” For parents, perhaps the most important takeaways are this: One, if you don’t talk to your offspring about sex, they will learn about it online — a scary place to find role models; and two, your kids might actually want you to talk to them about sex.
“[P]urity and hypersexualization,” she says, “are flip sides of the same coin.” On the positive side, Orenstein champions the successes of the Netherlands and argues that the U. “In a 2012 survey of over four thousand young people,” Orenstein tells us, “most said they wish they’d had more information, especially from their parents, before their first sexual experiences.” When it comes to sex, girls not only “wanna” have fun, but they have a right to do so.Over the years, state child welfare officials heard Sally describe the abuse by her stepfather, “Robert,” explaining how he would molest her when the rest of the family was sleeping; how he would drug her with “diet pills” in order to rape her; and how he started using condoms when she reached puberty.Deminski — This story is why child molesters need a death penalty Sally first told her mother “Kate” about the rape when she was 8 or 9 years old.For instance, it used to be the case that a girl’s status as “good” or “bad” was defined by whether or not she “put out”: Good girls didn’t have sex and bad girls did.“Now, though,” Orenstein explains, girls who abstain from sex, once thought of as the “‘good girls,’ are shamed as well, labeled ‘virgins’ (which is not a good thing) or ‘prudes.’” Yet girls who engage in sex — however that gets defined, yet another complicated feature of this new landscape — risk being labeled as “sluts” and judged accordingly. According to Orenstein’s interview subjects, whom she identifies as being in college or college-bound and hence “those who felt they had all options open to them, the ones who had most benefited from women’s economic and political progress,” many girls feel pressured to engage in sexual activity and to satisfy their male partners without giving much thought at all to whether they enjoy what they’re doing.New Jersey 101.5 related video HOBOKEN — Instead of calling police, a Hudson County mother called her own daughter a “whore” and “slut” after the child revealed that she had been repeatedly raped by her depraved stepfather starting when she was just 8 or 9 years old.