It's clear in my mind that I'll get older with my wife. I'm very committed to my family." Ralph Roughton, on the faculty of the Emory University Psychoanalytic Institute, is familiar with that inner struggle: How to tell a wife, after nearly 30 years of marriage, that you're attracted to men, too? "Today, I'm still struggling with the fact that even though I've opened up to my now-ex-wife .
How to tell two grown daughters about this very personal part of daddy's life? He attended Craig's conferences three times in the 1990s, and these days, he refers to himself as "gay," not "bisexual." "That period of going to the conferences was a period of transition for me. "It was a complete surprise to her" is all he would say.
But he went through it: He came out to his wife in 1989. That's true of a lot of people," Roughton says in a phone interview. They may be sexually attracted to men but genuinely in love with their wives.
Cruising-for-sex spots, in Rock Creek Park and Meridian Hill Park, just to name two, are attractions. On July 8 at a.m., Bill, the 55-year-old from Boston, leaves this message: "I'm delighted to be a part of this group." He then talks about his wife and how her knowing of his same-sex attraction "threatens" and "hurts" her.
Profiles in chat rooms and postings on Web sites are written in code. Later that day, at p.m., Steve, a 48-year-old who works in photography publishing, says this of his situation: "Basically, it works about as well" -- he laughs a shy laugh -- "as something like this can work.
I am emotionally attracted to men and will not deny that. The girl I'm dating knows everything and even has the same experience with women (she really understands what I'm going through and I am very grateful for her! I am also a Christian bisexual, and I am certain that it is OK for me to like girls.
I know that it is something I can't help, and God wouldn't have programmed me to be irredeemable before I was born.
They're not even right on the issue anyway if they're Bible-believers.
If you want my frank opinion, the Bible is entirely man-made and you really have nothing to worry about. Why does that part of the Bible "not count" but the parts on sexuality "count"?
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But I'm growing closer to God and up until now I have ignored my bi-sexuality. I don't know what this means and I have no idea what's in store, but I'm wondering if anyone knows anyone who has gone or is going through something similar.